My dad started a church with his best-friend about five years ago, we started to go to this church and everything was ok, well about 3 years later a lady that helped with the youth Group was busted on child-molesting. Then, my parents stopped trying to "work things out" about a year ago, and the pastor(Dad's BFF) told him to stop trying. I then found porn on his computer and so I decided to talk to the pastor on myspace, well he told my dad and my dad got onto my myspace and read everything. Now my dad is pissed cuz i talked to the pastor, and I am mad at him cuz he broke my trust . Now I am not going to a church, but I feel bad, problem is I am only 15 so I can't drive..........WHat am I supposed to do??????? i need help, i am seriously on the edge of losing it and just ending it all.....I am a Christian so Christian viewpoints are good but i am not going to exclude other people's answers....
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
Your help should come from God.
Don't look to the hills or mountains of man's wisdom ...From whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. Psalm 121.
You surely need to go to God and have Him sort everything out. He will if you put your trust in Him and follow His guidance.
Cease trying to work it out in your own strength and rather depend upon God.
It is not wise to ask everybody's opinion. Man's advice is of no value without God and without God acting.
It would appear that all of you have done things that perhaps you shouldn't and worsened the situation and of course that is what happens when we leave God and His guidance out.
Are you willing to trust God, to depend on Him and wait for Him to sort it out? He will both enable you and show you and you can seek Him and His will through His word, the Bible.
If you are, there will be a great blessing but you may have to wait and you may have to pass through some difficulties but God will carry you through. His word can help and strengthen and guide you.
It doesn't matter that you are young, God deals with all and is able to cover and provide for all irrespective of age or ability. It is the heart that He looks at.
What are we here for? To glorify God or follow out the things that we think?
Isn't that one of the biggest problems? We all have so many issues and baggage and everybody has their own opinion as to what to do. We all try to work things out in our own strength instead of allowing God to do so in His strength and in His way.
Is it not rather a good thing that you are at your wit's end and cannot find a way through? Has not God brought you to this that you have no real option but to hand it all over to Him and trust Him? Only He can work it all out to the good of all.
In a way you are in a priveleged position, better than most whose self righteousness, and self life gets in the way. You are being given the opportunity to go to God and see Him move and to know the power of God.
Don't waste that very great opportunity. 1 Peter 1/7, James 1/2-8.
If you let Him He will prove Himself to you.
Fare well.
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
You went on his computer and found porn, and then you're hurt when he looks at your Myspace? Look, honey, you're 15. Your father has a right to know what you are up to. He's also an adult who has the freedom to do whatever he wants within the law - and porn is perfectly legal (as much as I dislike it).
The pastor told him to stop trying? He's not a very good pastor...
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
You broke your dads trust first. You had no business or right to tell on your dad. Why were you on your dads computer? Your position is partly your fault. You need to apologize to your dad. Tell him you love him and ask him to forgive you for starting all this trouble. He had enough problems already without his beloved daughter adding to it. This will solve a lot of your problems. Think of someone besides yourself.
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
I'm so sorry
that you are going through this situation!
JESUS said,
"You will know every tree by it's fruit."
Just because a person claims to be a christian
does-not mean he actually is a christian.
If you dad or leaders in your church are sinning
without repentance, then I'd find a different church
to goto, because it's not healthy for you to be in
that environment.
Here is a list of solid, Bible-teaching Churches.
http://www.calvarychapel.com/?page=churc...
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
Your Father seems to have a problem with pornography. This is ONE thing that can hurt a marriage, but there are many things that can. You looked to someone who you felt could help. but you cannot change your father, only he can. This is an important time to ask God and listen to his answers. You will have to try to rebuild yours and your father's trust.
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
The reason that people seek Christ is because they are flawed and need forgiveness and help. Don't give up on God beause there are flawed people around you.
However, be careful of people. Because we are flawed we can hurt each other. Talk to a school counselor about the child-molesting and porn. Be careful for yourself and do not put yourself at risk. If you become afraid for your safety have a safe place/person to call. But remember that God came to us because we weren't perfect.
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
Hi there
I am sorry you have had to deal with all this and at 15yrs old too! You are really brave to confront it all.
Having said that the first thing I would say is to find someone else who can help you deal. Is there an auntie or uncle or older brother or someone who can stand with you in this?
Things like trust take a while to build but seconds to destroy. Are you saying your pastor betrayed a trust or did he simply confront your father about the porn on his computer? Its a fine line I know but maybe he was pretty cross too!
Porn is a really really tough struggle for many men and if you need to find advice, you can go to xxxchurch.com. These guys really know what they are doing and they have some great on-line resources.
Don't expect your dad to thank you for exposing this weakness in his life - it must be a real embarrassment for him being busted like this. He probably feels a lot of shame.
If you feel it is right and you don't feel threatened, you might want to try talking to him about how you felt but if you can, that you forgive him. Ask God for help with this - it isn't going to be easy.
As for church, just keep looking around but do try to get back into one if you can - you might find it a great support. Maybe there is a youthclub or church nearby you just haven't noticed before? Again, see if there is anyone else who can take you - another family member or perhaps a school friend.
Hope it works out for you
Blessings
T
PS - ignore the poster above, squirt, that is probably the worst advice I have heard for a long time. It won't be the first time you hear bad advice either
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
So walk to church. It might be a long way, but if your dad cares about you, he can at least help you get to some church, even if the one you were going to is now tainted in your sight. So your folks are divorced, if I read this right? Well, a man alone will tend to look at porn, I know that. You do not need to be too concerned about your Dad's love life, he is an adult. He must also come to his own terms with God and I would not expect his friend the priest to be much help in correcting him since he is also his friend - which means maybe you and your Dad should attend elsewhere.
I know you are young and it seems like the problems in your life are huge and that they will overcome you, but you need to realize that God is definately bigger than all that stuff and He has plans for you that will still come out later - you need to hang tough for God, OK? In a few years - only 3 or 4 - your life will make a lot more sense, even if some of the adults around you seem to be headed down the wrogn path. They will turn back in their own time. You cannot turn them around. You can and should let them know your concerns, but you need to wait for God to do the heavy lifting with them. So pray about these concerns and look for the ways that you can be closer to God on your own - read the Bible each day and meditate on the verses you read. I would read all the letters from Paul in Ephesians and Corinthians and such, They have lots of answers that are fitting for a sermon, so if you are missing sermons, you can still find hymns online to listen too and study on your own or with friends after school.
Perhaps a friend could pick you up and take you with them to their church? I did that too at your age. And now lots of churches broadcast their services on-line, so you can browse for them and find a church anywhere in the world that may bring you closer to God and what he is planning for you.
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
There are several things here that you're dealing with but the main thing is you tried to talk to your pastor about something that was bothering you and he betrayed your trust. That is what caused your Dad to get upset with you. Dad looking at porn is not something to be upset about. Most men do. The woman who was busted for child molestation, thank God she got caught. Your parents no longer trying to work things out, sometimes you just have to know when to quit. But trust is something that is sacred and for a pastor to betray your trust is poor on his part.
You're not going to church now. There are a lot of people who don't go to a physical church but are very spiritual. If there isn't a church close enough for you to get to, you can find other ways to practice your spirituality. Instead of looking at this as a bad time, look at it as an opportunity to explore your own feelings about religion, Christianity and spiritualism in general. Find ways to practice your beliefs in your life by helping other people. You don't have to sit in a building once a week to be Christian or spiritual. If you truly want to go to church, do you have a friend who can drive you or whose parents can pick you up on their way to church?
Can you talk to your Dad and try to work things out? You say your Dad started this church which would indicate he's a religious man and works to help people who are having problems in their lives. He should be able to understand that you were having a problem and turned to your pastor for guidance. If he's unable to understand that, I hate to say it, but that would indicate that you're Dad's a bit of a hypocrite. Try to talk to him from that angle. You were not trying to cause trouble for him but you were trying to seek counseling for something that was bothering you. Ask him to see the situation from a different angle. If it was not you but someone else who turned to the pastor for help would he be as angry? Time should help this situation. Ending it all is something that can be done in a way other than harming yourself. You're at an age where people start to form their own beliefs about religion and spirituality. If your beliefs don't exactly match your parents, that's OK. But examine your own beliefs and see where they land. And give yourself some time. Things will eventually settle down.
I need help with dealing with my dad?/?
I must say Piper has the right idea. If you look at your father's porn files without his permission, then you have absolutely no right to get angry when he looks at your Myspace page without your permission. If you don't want people knowing you said something, then you probably shouldn't have said it in the first place (or at least it should have been sent privately so not just anyone could look at it). It's not really your business what kind of images and videos your father has on the computer anyway. It sounds to me like you were the one who really screwed things up, more than either your father or the pastor ever did.
But of course, you can't go back and change the past. At this point your best bet is probably to apologize to your father for looking at his files and hope he understands how you feel about it. Even if the porn is tied in with this child molestation case you were talking about (you didn't make it clear whether or not you thought there was a connection), now that your pastor knows about it, it's out of your hands and you shouldn't get yourself in any more trouble by taking action on your own. In addition, I take it that by 'my parents stopped trying to "work things out" about a year ago' you mean that they broke up, in which case you might find it useful to have your mother's psychological (and potentially legal) support in all this.
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